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| "Chase Thompson, a film by Chase Thompson"
my new short film has just completed principal photography.
stand up and cheer. and check out pictures here.
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| so there were 3 guys walking in the forest and they come by an aboriginal tribe. the tribe captures the men and tells them they will boil them to death if they don't do what they say.
the men unwillingly agree and the first task they are given is to go in the forest and collect 10 of the same fruit.
the first person comes back with apples. the tribe tells him he needs to stick them up his butt and show no physical emotions or they will kill him. the man starts and as he's putting the first one in, groans so they kill him instantly.
the next person comes back with 10 grapes. he starts to stick them up his butt, but 9 grapes in, he bursts out laughing and the tribe kills him.
up in heaven, the first person asks the second why he started laughing, when he could of easily put one more in. he says, "i was up to nine grapes but then i saw stan walk out of the woods with pineapples." | | |
| so i thought i'd share with you some secrets of the dating game. five quick tips for successful dating for both girls and boys on their first few dates. this use to be my specialty, but take it with a grain of salt as all situations are different and there are exceptions to all rules. these are some tips outside the basics (basic tips include eye contact, smiling, listening, etc), so you can call these intermediate tips. my advanced secrets are carefully protected at the moment. also, keep in mind these are for serious dating and potential longevity in relationships. i'll share some of my secret guide for pickups and hookups at a later time maybe, those secrets are worth more than gold.
for the gentlemen
1. guys... knock off the sexual innuendos and flirtatiousness. you're trying to date this girl, not sleep with her. if you're just trying to sleep with her, the you're not trying to date her. capiche? there's nothing more of a turn off for a girl who really wants to get to know you, then for you to tell her you like the way she puts stuff in her mouth. mild flirtation is okay if that is your personality. let's try to keep the creepiness down to a minimum. you know what they say about first impressions right?
2. a common tip is to be "funny". i suggest above anything you be yourself than funny. if you don't tell jokes normally, don't tell jokes. but if she tells a joke, always laugh. if you are naturally funny, be funny. women find a sense of humor sexy. but don't go balls out with the racial jokes or dimwitted jokes right off the bat, make sure she is enjoying your jokes before you tell more jokes, as redundant as that sounds. and never make her the joke (her appearance, her family, her ethnicity) save that until you know her better. (ironically, for casual hookups, you should do the exact opposite)
3. for those of you that took psych 101. you know about the ben franklin effect. simply put, when you do someone a favor, you tend to like them more. reason being you justify your favor to them as being because you like them. so how does this apply to dating? how do you make her do favors for you unknowingly? just ask, my friend. obviously don't overdue it. but casually ask her to pass the salt to you during lunch. ask her to hold on to your jacket for a moment as you adjust your shirt. ask her if you have anything in your teeth. and most importantly thank her after. the acknowledgment subconsciously makes her aware of the favor. you owe me $500 for this tip alone.
4. have a plan b. no. not the morning after pill. plan ahead. if you are going to six flags for example, plan something after as well as an alternative. you don't have to carry it out, but if the date is going well, the last thing you need is not knowing what to do next. like make reservations at a cool restaurant. if you make it to dinner, she'll be impressed by your preparation and thoughtfulness. if you don't make it that far, she never has to know. also, plan an alternative. let's say it rains or the park closes, have something else lined up like go-karting. she'll be impressed with your spontaneity and have fun instead of sitting around discussing what you could be doing. the setup is half the battle.
(bonus tip: plan to do something physical. think minigolf, not mud wrestling. think amusement parks, batting cages, etc. why physical? physical contact is good. especially if it is innocent and not forced. it builds comfort which opens the door to many things. one minute of touch is stronger than an hour of bullshit conversation.)
5. do not ask her out to drink. at least not for a date. you either come across as sleazy or an alcoholic. both which don't really put you in the best of light. let the date itself lead to casual drinking or let her ask you if you want to hit up a bar or lounge. never initiate that. i find we often rely so much on "hey, let's grab a drink" that it becomes moot and so unoriginal. if you want to be special to her, do something special for her. think with your head. the one on your shoulders.
for the ladies
1. get off the damn cell phone. okay, we get it. you have friends. you are popular. you have better things to do. you are social, you are hot. this may attract attention from your other friends, but a date don't really care. as a matter of fact, guys are as much attention hogs as women are. it means a lot when you just focus on him rather than your phone. i know it's hard... you're missing your chats, text messages, facebook updates, and ashton kutcher's twitter. but if you don't put these aside for the guy, you're missing the date.
2. offer to pay or split the bill. seriously girls. this one may be just a particular pet peeve for me. but nothing annoys me more than a girl who doesn't offer to pay. it means a lot to a guy when the girl offers. for dinner, snacks, whatever activity you may be doing. it shows that you are caring and independent and not a gold digger. it also gives you a chance to test the guy out. if he actually will let you pay, that's a different story. i still believe the guy should pay. but you should at least offer. acknowledgment shows respect and men often have insecurity about not getting enough respect.
3. let past relationships remain exactly where they are, in the past. you don't need to let him know how good your last boyfriend was to you. or how bad he was. your date doesn't need to know you've been with seventeen guys and your last boyfriend cured cancer while benching 350 lbs. past relationships are always touchy subjects, but the less you know at the beginning the better. if you do get on the subject, keep is simple and don't go into details. furthermore, if it gets uncomfortable, don't lie. just say it's getting a little uncomfortable and change the subject. as you're relationship grows, you may feel more comfortable to discuss the past. but it'll be frustrating for him to communicate with you, if you constantly bring up your past relationships. focus on this one.
4. nothing makes a guy more happy than completing something. why do guys build decks? why do guys love legos? men love tackling a problem and solving it on their own. so what can you do to help this? simple. set up a problem for him that is easy to solve. a sincere guy will jump at an opportunity to fix your dilemma. all of a sudden, you're the damsel in distress and he's the prince. what kind of problem can you set up? easy. ask him to find a band aid for a small injury, tell him the hinge on your sunglasses broke (requires setup), tell him you need to buy a birthday card for a friend. these little "problems" let you see how your date reacts in the face of adversity. it can create side adventures to your date which leads to a lot of fun. he'll feel proud and confident when he finally helps you solve the problem and when someone is confident you can see the true side of them. also you'll see how creative he is, maybe he'll think of solutions you didn't think of. and lastly if all else, if he has trouble figuring out how to help you with a simple task or doesn't bother, it'll say something as well.
5. wait at least 3 dates before kissing and a month before sex, even if you want it. why? it gives you time to get to know the person. oftentimes a beautiful person can become very ugly very fast once you know them. likewise, it sets apart the guys who genuinely like you compared to the majority looking for a quick fix. a guy will not respect you if you give it up within the first few dates. if you don't want to be considered easy or a slut, then don't be. it's as simple as that. in that regards, don't tell him... "i'm holding out for a month". keep him guessing. if he makes it through week two of steady dating without veering, you mutually like each other, and you are comfortable, then you may consider giving him an advance. (for the guys, don't worry, i'll show you in my pickup guide how to counteract this)
the truth of the matter is, dating is scary. there are limitless uncertainties and dynamics when it comes to how people will attract or not. and no matter how confident, good looking, or rich you are, we all have our insecurities and flaws and never want any of it to come out. but the beauty of dating is finding out about these areas and learning our similarities and acceptance of the differences. no one is perfect including you. there are never any guarantees and i honestly believe when it works, it works without explanation. which is oftentimes what is truly magical about a relationship and makes each one so unique, but having that helping hand to maximize your opportunity never hurts.
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| i callously waited until you picked up the receiver. your voice was as eloquent as i remembered. perhaps even sweeter now. the way you pronounced every syllable always amused me, i almost forgot.
"hello?"
it's been nearly ten years since we last spoke. an untimely awkward conversation at that, which i'd hesitate to remember.
"hello? who's there?"
i muster out a crinkled response. "hello. it's me."
silence. it's as if she was speaking to a ghost. perhaps i am a ghost to you. i hear you breathing quietly and then you hang up.
you once told me.. "i'm happy" and i didn't understand.
i couldn't possibly understand.
and to be honest, i still don't.
but i'll accept it a little more.
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| i can write something more interesting. but just not today.
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